woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
