There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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