I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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