Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
