just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
