I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
