Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
