I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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