i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
