so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
