I don't usually arrange sex via text message
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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