...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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