Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she told me i tasted like america
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
