I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
