I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
