Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
