You made me cry and you don't even care
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize