Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
