I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
