Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
