I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
