I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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