people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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