Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
