what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
