Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
