I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
