after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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