did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Two words: blizzard sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
