I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize