good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
