doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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