Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize