the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
