do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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