If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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