Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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