yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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