enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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