yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
