I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
