As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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