meet me or not, i'm out of control
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
