Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
