tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
