They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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