She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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