I hate your face
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize