i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
