Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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