you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
