It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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