talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize