allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize