thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
