I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
