Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
