I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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