the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
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