Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
