Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
