We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
