these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
