D3 body, D1 cock
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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