You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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